Do I Trust God (continued)

I just waited for my life to hit solid ground also known as, “rock bottom”. Once there I realized, first that self-pity is not productive. Proverbs 15:13, sets the truth of self-pity right, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” (NIV) So, self-pity was wasting my time, and I wanted a happy heart. I began to ask myself, how could I get my life back? How could I get God’s blessing? The Lord blesses the righteous. Proverbs 3:33, “The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” (NIV) So, I needed God’s blessing.
What did I need to clean up in order to be blessed? I learned the answers in the book of Proverbs. I was full of bitterness. I was angry with God for the situation I found myself in. I was physically ill, in debt beyond what I could afford, and I being a homeless person was a possibility. To be honest none of that was God’s fault, but I was still angry and nursing my anger. Here is what I learned about being angry, “Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.” (Ephesians 4:31, NIV) Easier said than done was my reaction. I was raised in a home whose motto was feelings aren’t good or bad they just are. I feel the way I feel and I can’t help it. Until I read 2 Corinthians 10:4-5,
The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought and make it obedient to Christ. (NIV)
So, a new thought for me, just because I felt it didn’t mean that it was good or ok or should remain unchecked and unchallenged. It is wrong, and immature to stay mad at God, and the anger didn’t serve me well. The message I took was “get over it.”
Not only was I angry there were other issues. I lacked self-discipline of any kind, I used my chronic pain not to do anything but sit on the couch and watch TV. Repeat episodes of Bones and Castle filled my day. Getting over my anger was first, but second was getting it together and getting off the couch so to speak. Proverbs 25:28, “Like a city whose walls are broken down is a man who lacks self-control.” (NIV) Galatians 5:22-23, But the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.” (NIV) I don’t necessarily believe that those are in order of importance. And to top it off, 2 Timothy 1:7, points out clearly that “God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.” (NIV) I know that on my own power I was not going to be able to do anything about my couch potato status. So I prayed and I prayed using the actual word of God to back me up. Essentially I got on my knees and reminded God that self-discipline was a gift of God, and every day that I fail to get of the couch the next day I start over praying God’s word. I also began asking God to relieve my pain. Usually it works.
In case you don’t get it I feel I need to expound. My lack of self-discipline is also, lazy and God is crystal clear about laziness. Generally Proverbs 31:10-31 is an example of an industrious, not lazy wife. I was not that, but God is emphatic. 2 Thessalonians 3:12 compels us to, “Such people we command and urge in the Lord Jesus Christ to settle down and the bread they eat.” Remember I worried about homelessness and getting my food from the food bank. And if that was not enough to convince me to make a change, Proverbs 15:19 warns that, “The way of the sluggard is blocked with thorns, but the path of the upright is a highway.” (NIV) God really wants to move me in this and so Titus 3:14 just knocks it home, “Our people must learn to devote themselves to doing what is good, in order that they may provide for daily necessities and not live unproductive lives.” (NIV) I can take a hint. I am now doing what I can do on my own and with prayer I trust God to help me do what I can’t do on my own.
I am still pretty new to the idea of praying and trusting God for my absolute and every need. So far, things are improving quickly. Although I shouldn’t be surprised I am. And generally speaking my heart overflows with gratitude and amazement at God’s faithfulness. He is helping me to get some control over my health and my day. Every day I ask God to order my day and to give me the strength and focus to accomplish what He has for me. I surrender to His plan knowing that there is joy waiting for me as I fulfill God’s plan for me.
Before I close I should answer Beth Moore’s questions. First, Do we just want the cross without the resurrection? My answer is yes sometimes. Sometimes, I get weary and I just can’t make one more change in my life even if it is at the prompting of the Holy Spirit.
Second, are we trying to stuff the living and working Christ back into the tomb so He’ll save us and then just leave us alone? I am absolutely awe struck and overwhelmed with gratitude that God sent His Son to die on the cross. The thing that is convicting is the fact that He would have done that if I were the only human on earth. But, giving your life to Christ is a huge commitment and I am guilty of not wanting God to move in my life. Sometimes I’m like Jonah. Third, do we want to know ‘the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings’? Ultimately I’m an in for a penny in for a pound girl. I really do want God to control my life. I know that his way is the smooth and safe way, even if, it doesn’t seem that way at first. So Beth Moore had some great questions. These questions have caused me to think and confirm what level of God I truly want. I want the whole thing.

Love and joy,

Billie

P.S. Let me know what you think. Also, if you find this helpful or interesting please share it with others you know.

Corrected Do I Trust God

I made a mistake on my posting yesterday I gave to wrong reference for the verse below is the corrected reference.

FYI I am changing my edit process to improve the quality of my posts.

“…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11 (New International Version)

Beth Moore (1984), asks a great question in her book, To Live is Christ:Embracing the Passion of Paul, her question is actually three questions, “Do we just want the cross without the resurrection? Are we trying to stuff the living and working Christ back into the tomb so He’ll save us and then just leave us alone? Or do we want to know ‘the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings’?” (p. 34).

It struck me that living without allowing Christ full access to my life was really just stuffing him back into the grave, and he rose to give me the power of the Holy Spirit. I wondered, why I limit him to just his death? This led me to an even bigger question; do I trust God to be good to me? Recently I have struggled with health, and finances, I have even struggled to find a place to live. My recent past has been a painful struggle, and if God put me through that can I trust him?

Clearly, we are told to trust in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. (NIV) If God will make my way straight how could I be in the mess I was in? Do I trust God? Is God’s power enough to care for me? Is God unfaithful to his word? And, the scariest question of all, does God love me enough to care for me?
Jeremiah 32:17, “Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm.” (NIV) And Jeremiah 32:26-27 says, “Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah: ‘I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” NIV. Clearly the problem isn’t God’s power.

Ok, could the problem be that God is not faithful, I don’t really think that’s the problem, but let’s look and see. I need reassurance. Deuteronomy 7:9 tells it like it is, God is Faithful, “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” (NIV) And Psalm 33:4 assures that, “For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.” (NIV) Lamentations 3:22-23, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”(NIV)

I think now I need to answer the BIG ELEPHANT in the room question. The hard question with the possible devastating answer; does God love me enough? 1 Chronicles 16:34, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.” (NIV) Nehemiah 9:17, “They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them.” (NIV) David knew about God’s love and asks, “Turn O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.” (Psalm 6:4, NIV) And, Psalm 36:5 “Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.” (NIV) So, that settles that, the problem is not God’s power, or His faithfulness, or His love for me.

I have to ask myself do I trust God? The answer was that In all honesty, I had stopped asking God for help. I had made so many mistakes. Why would God help me? And maybe when my life started to spiral I blamed God and spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t trust him to provide good things for me.

I just waited for my life to hit solid ground also known as, “rock bottom”. Once there I realized, first that self-pity is not productive. Proverbs 15:13, sets the truth of self-pity right, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” (NIV) So, self-pity was wasting my time, and I wanted a happy heart. I began to ask myself, how could I get my life back? How could I get God’s blessing? The Lord blesses the righteous. Proverbs 3:33, “The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” (NIV) So, I needed God’s blessing.

Love and Joy
Billie

P.S. I’ll send you the rest of the story tomorrow and don’t forget to let me know what you think. Also, if you find this helpful or interesting please share it with others you know.

Do I Trust God

“…For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Leviticus 29:11 (New International Version)

Beth Moore (1984), asks a great question in her book, To Live is Christ:Embracing the Passion of Paul, her question is actually three questions, “Do we just want the cross without the resurrection? Are we trying to stuff the living and working Christ back into the tomb so He’ll save us and then just leave us alone? Or do we want to know ‘the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings’?” (p. 34).

It struck me that living without allowing Christ full access to my life was really just stuffing him back into the grave, and he rose to give me the power of the Holy Spirit. I wondered, why I limit him to just his death? This led me to an even bigger question; do I trust God to be good to me? Recently I have struggled with health, and finances, I have even struggled to find a place to live. My recent past has been a painful struggle, and if God put me through that can I trust him?

Clearly, we are told to trust in the Lord. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all ways acknowledge him, and he will make your path straight. (NIV) If God will make my way straight how could I be in the mess I was in? Do I trust God? Is God’s power enough to care for me? Is God unfaithful to his word? And, the scariest question of all, does God love me enough to care for me?
Jeremiah 32:17, “Ah, Sovereign Lord, you have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and outstretched arm.” (NIV) And Jeremiah 32:26-27 says, “Then the word of the Lord came to Jeremiah: ‘I am the Lord, the God of all mankind. Is anything too hard for me?” NIV. Clearly the problem isn’t God’s power.

Ok, could the problem be that God is not faithful, I don’t really think that’s the problem, but let’s look and see. I need reassurance. Deuteronomy 7:9 tells it like it is, God is Faithful, “Know therefore that the Lord your God is God; he is the faithful God, keeping his covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love him and keep his commands.” (NIV) And Psalm 33:4 assures that, “For the word of the Lord is right and true; he is faithful in all he does.” (NIV) Lamentations 3:22-23, “Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.”(NIV)

I think now I need to answer the BIG ELEPHANT in the room question. The hard question with the possible devastating answer; does God love me enough? 1 Chronicles 16:34, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.” (NIV) Nehemiah 9:17, “They refused to listen and failed to remember the miracles you performed among them. They became stiff-necked and in their rebellion appointed a leader in order to return to their slavery. But you are a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love. Therefore you did not desert them.” (NIV) David knew about God’s love and asks, “Turn O Lord, and deliver me; save me because of your unfailing love.” (Psalm 6:4, NIV) And, Psalm 36:5 “Your love, O Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies.” (NIV) So, that settles that, the problem is not God’s power, or His faithfulness, or His love for me.

I have to ask myself do I trust God? The answer was that In all honesty, I had stopped asking God for help. I had made so many mistakes. Why would God help me? And maybe when my life started to spiral I blamed God and spent a lot of time feeling sorry for myself. I didn’t trust him to provide good things for me.

I just waited for my life to hit solid ground also known as, “rock bottom”. Once there I realized, first that self-pity is not productive. Proverbs 15:13, sets the truth of self-pity right, “A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.” (NIV) So, self-pity was wasting my time, and I wanted a happy heart. I began to ask myself, how could I get my life back? How could I get God’s blessing? The Lord blesses the righteous. Proverbs 3:33, “The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous.” (NIV) So, I needed God’s blessing.

Love and Joy
Billie

P.S. I’ll send you the rest of the story tomorrow and don’t forget to let me know what you think. Also, if you find this helpful or interesting please share it with others you know.